Better start painting the nursery
by PuppyRhodes
Summary: ((Formerly 'What fresh hell is this')) The silence that followed Loki's confession went on for far too long, considering Tony Stark was in the room, and Loki had to check that the man was in fact still breathing. Mpreg! Loki, confused Tony and sassy Clint.
1. Morning Sickness

Tony rolled over lazily under the covers as faint sunlight began to reflect around the room. He groaned as he scratched at his chin. With a tired sniff, he turned over and stretched his arm out to wrap it around his bed partner. It would be the highlight of his morning; rolling over and snuggling up to Loki, feeling the cool air radiating from soft skin and breathing in the strange, slightly spicy scent that hung around the god like an aura. It was almost as good as his morning coffee. Almost. Nothing beat caffeine outright.  
>So, of course, he was disappointed when he found the space next to him was empty, and cold, meaning it had been deserted for a long while.<br>With a pout firmly on his lips, the billionaire jerked his head up and growled with a voice still heavy with sleep. "Jarvis. Where is he?"  
>"I believe Mister Laufeyson is in the ensuite, sir." The AI responded.<br>"Strange." Stark thought out loud. "Loki never leaves the bed until he knows I'm awake." With a loud sigh, Tony dragged his tired ass from the bed, slipped himself into some pants and padded over to the door to the bathroom. He tapped his knuckles on the chrome panel. "Loki. Babe. You alright in there?" Tony turned his head to one side to try and hear better. There was no reply. Tony's brow twitched. He knocked again, and asked louder through the door. "Loki? Are you okay?"  
>There was a moment of silence, and Tony could hear some shuffling on the other side of the door, and he thought Loki was about to open the door when out of nowhere came a sound Tony was all too familiar with.<p>

Loki was being sick. Pretty violently by the sounds of it. Tony's eyes grew wide and he slammed his hands against the door. "Loki! Come on, let me in!"  
>After a moment of coughing, Loki's voice came from behind the door. "I am fine, Anthony. Leave me be." The god sounded weak, and Tony wasn't buying any of it.<br>"No you aren't! You're throwing up! Let me in!" The engineer slammed his head hard against the door, then glared up the ceiling. "Jarvis?"  
>"I'm afraid Mister Laufeyson has asked me to keep you out, sir." Tony could have sworn he pulled a muscle in the back of his head with the amount of eye rolling he did where Loki was concerned. He had gotten way too friendly with his AI since he moved into the tower.<br>"Fine. Fine." He sighed. He stood for a moment by the door, still hoping Loki would have a change of heart and let him in. Of course he wouldn't. Loki was just as stubborn as he was, and that door wouldn't be opening any time soon. Eventually, Stark gave in and stumbled back to the bed, perching anxiously on the edge. His head fell into his hands as he heard more gagging sounds. They were getting dryer, more rasping, and soon, there was nothing left but the occasional choking sound. Tony wracked his brain to try and think of what could make a god ill. In all their time together, Loki had never once been sick, or caught a cold or anything. So what was up? Maybe he could ask Thor what it took to make a god chuck up.

In the end, it was a good half an hour before the god emerged from the bathroom. He was in his Jotun form when he finally opened the door and tiptoed back over to sit beside Tony. That meant that he was tired, and didn't have enough energy to keep up his human appearance. There was a red flag, right there. "Loki. You gonna tell me what that was?" Tony whispered, stroking back the god's shining raven hair from where it had fallen into glittering crimson his eyes.  
>"Vomiting. I believe you are familiar with it, after your years spent poisoning your body with alcohol."<br>Tony frowned, but he couldn't stay mad at such a frail looking boyfriend.  
>"Okay, okay, make a dig at me while you can get away with it." He chuckled, shifting his weight so that Loki could lean into him. "And I won't make you tell me, just because you're all sickly. Just... Keep your germs to yourself, alright?" He backed away, smiling at the pout Loki was giving him.<br>Loki grumbled something under his breath. Tony couldn't hear it properly, but it was probably offensive. The blue god curled further up into Tony's lap. His breathing had finally calmed down after his... Episode, and the two men had both relaxed. But, Tony couldn't help but notice that there was no soft smile playing along Loki's frosty blue lips.  
>He put it down to the illness, and kept quiet, gently petting Loki's hair. It wasn't really his style, but he made his peace with it, and tried his best to enjoy the moment, despite the questions and concerns he had.<p>

"Sir," Jarvis' voice broke through the calm quiet, much to Tony's agitation. "The other Avengers have started to gather in the common room."  
>The engineer cursed under his breath, wondering why he ever asked Jarvis to alert him to that. "Yeah, that's great, Jarv." He sighed. When he looked back down to Loki, he found the god had fallen asleep in his lap. That made it a little harder for him to manoeuvre himself out from under the trickster. Somehow though, with his cat like body and awesome ninja skills, he got out and threw Loki back onto the bed to rest, while he went to claim his morning coffee.<p>

He emerged into the quietly bustling common area still only dressed in his underwear. Not that anyone cared; they had all grown quiet used to Tony not getting fully dressed until the afternoon. Everyone was there when Stark appeared; Clint, Natasha, Bruce, Steve and even Thor. The two agents were lounging on the couch, Steve was sat, one leg over the other, reading an old battered book and looking like the grandad he really was with his readng glasses resting low down on his nose, and Bruce was in the kitchen, nursing a cup of coffee and fascinating Thor with theories and sums. The god sat there, genuinley interested by the idea that Midgardians still hadn't developed the means to prove all of their theories as the Asgardians had centuries ago.  
>"Morning." Tony grunted to the room. He didn't expect any real reply, so when Steve mumbled something over the cover of his book, he smiled to himself on his way to the kitchen.<br>Bruce looked up with a smile at seeing his closest friend on the team. "Good morning." He hummed, before taking another sip from his mug.  
>"Yes, good morning!" Thor laughed. Tony spared a nod in their direction as he set about fixing a drink of his own. As he rummaged through the cupboards, he started talking over his shoulder to Thor.<br>"Alright, Goldilocks, I got a question for you." Thor's expression changed to one of intense concentration almost immediately. Bruce chuckled into his coffee. "What would make Loki throw up?"  
>"Throw up?" Thor echoed, only vaguely familiar with the term. Tony paused in his coffee prep and looked over his shoulder at the god.<br>"Uh, yeah. Y'know, vomit?" Thor's eyes lit up for a second with realisation, before the light dissipated and he suddenly looked like someone had eaten the last pop tart.  
>"Do you mean to tell me that my brother has been vomiting?" Both Tony and Bruce stared at the god. They were concerned by the sombre tone in Thor's words. He was never serious. Slowly, Tony turned around from the cabinet he was facing. His eyebrows were tilted in questioning, his head on one side.<br>"Yeah. What does that mean?"  
>The god looked at his feet for a second, before slipping from the bar stool he had been sat on, and grabbed Stark by the wrist. He dragged the brunette from the room.<br>"But... Coffee?" Tony whimpered as he was pulled backwards from the common room and out into the corridor. The god gently shoved Tony up against a wall. It shouldn't be possible, but somehow he managed it.

"You are sure that my brother was truly ill?"  
>"I promise. Scouts honour. Swear on the Bible. There were noises and everything." He pulled a face. "It was disgusting."<br>Thor took a deep breath, and looked Tony straight in the eyes. "If you are not lying, there are only a few options as to what is causing his illness."  
>"Alright. Lay it on me. What's up with him?" Tony was trying his best to stay confident, a wide grin plastered on his face. The fact that Thor had removed him from the room and was speaking in hushed tones worried him, but he couldn't crack. It may not even be anything that serious.<br>"Either his magic is no longer protecting him from the diseases of Earth," Thor paused. He probably didn't realise how overly dramatic it was, and just how much the suspense was tearing Tony's insides up. "Or he is dying."  
>"What?!" Tony exploded, "You can't- No way!"<br>The god brought his hands down reassuringly on Tony's shoulders. "Please, calm yourself, Anthony." The blonde smiled softly. It wasn't forced or fake, and worked in bringing the mortal down from his near hysteria. "I am sure he would have told us if he was dying, and he has not used his magic in a long time," Tony wasn't going to mention the fact that Loki did use his magic on a regular, nightly basis "I am sure he is simply ill."  
>"If you are so sure he's just got the sniffles, why did you drag me out here? Literally; drag."<br>"I was sure you would erupt into hysteria, as you did."  
>Tony thought for a second, then nodded. "Fair point."<p>

Slowly, the god let his hands fall from the mortal's shoulder, once he was sure the son of Stark wasn't going to flail around anymore. "Now, may I suggest you return to him and care for him." He nodded down the corridor with a playful smile. "I know firsthand just how needy he can be if he gets ill and tired."  
>Stark smiled and looked up happily into Thor's large puppy-dog eyes. "Thanks, Point Break." He laughed. He slapped Thor's shoulder by way of thanks, before he practically skipped back up the hallway to his bedroom door. Of course he was still worried; there was a risk Loki could be dying, if Thor was to be believed, but he tried his best to push that to the back of his mind.<p>

Besides, taking care of a sick Loki could prove to be entertaining.


	2. One Hundred Percent

_**((Yeah, sorry about the formatting issue last chapter~ But, I think it's all sorted now, so, enjoy~))**_

After a swift walk down the hallway, Tony slipped through the door back into his room, and couldn't help but smile like a fool at what he saw.  
>Loki, still in his Ultimate Smurf form, was tangled in the steely grey covers, hugging the sheet close to his chest. The god looked so innocent. It was beautiful, really, especially with the fresh morning sun shining through the large window, making the frost giant's skin glow.<br>Quietly, Tony snuck across the room and sat himself on the other side of the bed, leaning over Loki. He leant his weight on his left hand, and brought his right up to stroke away the stray strands of hair away from the trickster's face. "Loki, babe." He whispered through his smile. The god stirred under him, fidgeted a little, and mumbled something nonsensical thorough his sleep. "Hey, Rudolph." He jabbed the god in the shoulder with two fingers. He knew such a gesture could end with him losing his fingers, or something more important and sensitive, but with Loki being all weak and limp, he hoped he would be safe. Loki had certainly mellowed since moving into the tower. Now the only person he ever lashed out at was Thor, and that was never going to stop, really.

Tony tried again, poking the god's shoulder a little harder. "Loki, c'mon." He put on his most annoyingly whiny voice, and instantly the god's eyes flitted open, landing straight on Tony.  
>"And what do you want?" He hissed. It was clear to Stark that he was trying to sound all calm and confident like always, but he was still tired and you could hear it in his voice, deep down.<br>"Just making sure you're still alive." Tony smiled sweetly, tilting his head to one side for extra effect. He leant down and gently kissed the cool blue forehead. He would have gone for Loki's lips, but after what he heard the god doing that morning, he thought he should give them a wide berth for now. "Because," he continued, leaning back to let Loki sit himself up "I, uh, spoke to your brother."  
>Loki rested himself against the headboard. His expression had softened considerably, and he almost looked worried. "What did you talk to him about?"<br>"Well, you... Throwing up earlier." Tony shrugged, and span himself round to face where the god of mischief now sat.  
>"Yes. Anthony, I need to talk to you about that." Loki looked Tony straight in the eyes. It was a hard glare, and one that Stark hadn't been subjected to in a long while. It made him panic a little, but he tried his best to cover it up with a crooked smile and questionable humor.<p>

"Right, if you're dying, I'm telling you now I'm selling all your books." Loki laughed softly at Tony's usual humour, breaking the heavy atmosphere that had come over them. His red eyes fell down his own arm and came to rest on Tony's hand. He stared at it carefully as he reached out and slid his own icy blue fingers between Anthony's.  
>"Did Thor tell you that I could be dying?" He raised a slender eyebrow. Tony nodded.<br>The billionaire shrugged, trying to come across as though it didn't bother him so much. "But then he said you might just be ill."  
>Loki took a deep breath and flicked away a strand of hair that was fighting to get into his eye. He clutched Tony's hand tight, wrapping both his hands over the mortal's soft, tan skin.<br>"I am not ill, nor am I dying." He allowed a soft smile to escape onto his lips, though, it grew wider for a split second when he saw Tony visibly relax; the engineer slouched back and let out a loud burst of laughter.  
>"Oh, crap. That's good. That's great! Thank god!" Without warning, the mortal sprang forward and engulfed the taller man in a tight hug. "Wait! So why were you chucking up so bad this morning?" He grabbed Loki by the shoulders and pushed him away, just when the god was getting comfortable with the embrace.<p>

Loki pursed his lips. "Yes. About that." Loki averted his gaze with a sheepish smile. Tony didn't have to say anything. He glared at the god, urging him to spill whatever beans he was holding on to. "I... I fear that I could... Possibly..." Loki's usual confidence had apparently taken a holiday, and his words slowly faded out into silence. He stared down into his lap.  
>Tony reached out with his free hand and gently tilted the god's head back up. "Come on," he smiled, "if you're not dying, what could be that bad?"<p>

"I am carrying your child, Anthony."

The silence that followed Loki's confession went on for far too long, considering Tony Stark was in the room, and Loki had to check that the man was in fact still breathing. The mortal had frozen, his amber eyes glued to a spot on the wall just past Loki's head, a wide grin frozen on his lips. The god took a deep breath and conjured up all the magic he could, just about managing to regain his human form. Unfortunately, with the form came the full Asgardian get up. It was quite a change from the simple underwear he had been in, not to mention heavier, but it would have to do. "Anthony?" He waved a pale hand in front of Stark's face. Nothing. He poked the man in the cheek. Still nothing. With a sigh, he brought his hand up to Tony's face quickly and slapped him. There we go. Tony coughed in surprise and slowly juddered back to life and he finally met Loki's eyes. He didn't even comment on the god's newly human appearance.  
>"You're what now?! No! That's not possible! You're totally shitting me right now!" Loki rolled his eyes.<br>"It is possible, Anthony, I told you as much that first night!" The god threw himself from the bed to stand. "Did I not tell you I have several children already?" Tony seriously had to delve into his sleep and caffeine deprived brain for that one. Come to think of it, Loki had probably said something about kids. In fact, now he was thinking about it properly, Tony could just about recall being told something along the same lines by Thor, although it had come across more like a warning. The way Mr God of Thunder saw it, anyone who defiled his brother, no matter how good a friend they were, was in the bad books, and getting him pregnant was a big deal for him. It was around then Tony had just stopped listening, figuring that Thor was just messing around with the whole 'pregnancy' thing.

Okay, so that was a real thing. Loki could get pregnant. Next question.

"Are you totally, one hundred percent positive about this?" Tony pushed himself up from the bed. He realised then that he was still in his underwear. He found a pair of trousers on the floor, just poking out from under the bed. He grabbed them, slid into them and joined Loki around the other side of the bed. "Because, I can have Jarvis run tests, to make sure."  
>"Save your tests, Anthony. I am quite sure. I've done this before, remember?"<br>"Then why did Thor think you could be dying if you've done this before?"  
>The god rolled his eyes, mostly at his brother. "He has never seen what happens to me behind closed doors when this happens. As far as he is concerned, I carry on as normal."<br>Stark took a moment to process the new information. He could understand Thor thinking like that. "You're sure you're sure?"  
>"Yes." The god reached out and pulled Tony closer by the shoulders, looking him square in the eyes. "If it will put your mind at rest, then carry out all the tests you want, but I assure you I am not mistaken, and I would not lie about such a thing."<br>"Says the liesmith." Tony arched a single eyebrow. "I'll run some tests later, okay? But, shouldn't we take you to a hospital or something?" Tony realised the problem with that idea as soon as he had voiced it.  
>"I doubt they would be prepared for this."<br>"Then what?"  
>"They will be much better prepared for this on Asgard. Besides, it's about time you met my parents, considering what you've done to me."<p>

Tony ignored the insult potential of Loki's last comment as it all began to sink in. "So... I'm gonna be a dad, huh?"  
>Loki pulled him close. "Indeed. God help the child."<br>"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Tony growled into the god's chest.  
>"Between you as a father and Thor as an uncle, I dread for this child's safety."<br>Tony shoved himself away from Loki's chest, giving the trickster his most painfully unimpressed look. Then, in a split second, it lifted into a look of playful curiosity.  
>"Wait, so are you gonna get fat and hormonal?"<p>

He should have seen it coming when Loki smacked around the head. Hard.


End file.
